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Friday, November 25, 2005

By D.J. Duffy: How to trim the budget conservatively

Dear Editor:
As an emergency measure, I just had to write a letter to help the nation avert financial ruin. I'm also going to try to rewrite history.

First, let's travel back to 1991 when I looked at the 4-foot fence along the southern border. I was astonished. Now 14 years later I saw the same fence on TV and nothing much has been done with it. I only flew across the Canadian border at 33,000 feet but I can about imagine that needs work too. There's $200 billion plus for Iraq, but not $8 billion to build a fence here to beef up homeland security. That's the same kind of managerial skills that put Arbusto Oil and Harken Energy under.

Second, the House of Representatives passed H R 4241 (also known as the Reverse Robin Hood Act) last week. Millions of dollars could be saved here by replacing those same 217 (including Paul Ryan) who frequently vote yes on things that will hurt Americans, with a rubber stamp which can be purchased for less than $30. Things are probably going to get significantly busier for Time Is Now and other charitable organizations here in the county as well as for state relief agencies due to this type of legislation.

Third, Since the White House and Fox News generally say the exact same thing, significant savings could be realized if both went together and bought a talking parrot toy for $19.95. Several middlemen could be eliminated, and Karl Rove (providing he doesn't get indicted) would just have to tell one parrot what to say instead of a whole flock.

Following these conservative principles, I think the budget can be trimmed by at least 50 percent and America can be kept breathing at the same time.

D.J. Duffy
Delavan

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